Favorably Free
I was walking home from the gym (laugh out loud, right?) tonight when I was approached by a nice looking gentleman selling Street Sheet, a bi-weekly handout published by the Homeless Coalition and distributed by alcohol and drug-free members in exchange for a dollar donation. i usually stop for these guys if I’ve got some spare change; I support the cause and it breaks my heart to see them out on the streets on a cold night like this one. Anyway, I handed the man four quarters and marched forward toward my place when it dawned on me - I’m 100% free, utterly and favorably free. I tossed my keys on the nightstand when I entered my apartment, flopped down on my bed, and took a heavy sigh of relief.
For the last six weeks, I’ve had nothing to worry about but my own affairs and no one’s happiness to tend to but my own. This has included pouring my heart and soul into my schoolwork, making fabulous new friends, and volunteering at an at-risk elementary school on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons. I run nearly every day, and I’ve made the time to read a little bit before turning in each night. I’m able to catch up with my parents a few times a week, and more often than not, there’s a handful of heartfelt emails to read and reply to in my inbox at the end of the day.
Put simply: I’m happy, 100% happy. And I’m happy all on my own.
I think it’s safe to admit that the patch of gray clouds raining on my parade has finally dissipated, unveiling the blue skies I’ve been anticipating for so long. This time, I don’t have a hidden agenda or ulterior motive in declaring myself happily solo. I just am. I harbor no bitter feelings nor unspoken desires to rekindle what once was; I’m merely at peace with the way things have settled into place. I’m happy for us for reaching this point, and I’m proud of myself for attaining such a state of mental clarity about the situation. Things finally feel right.
A successful attempt at making love work is, without a doubt, one of the greatest triumphs of the human spirit. That being said and done, I’m eager to continue this leg of my journey alone. It’s high time to get reacquainted with myself; I’m taking a “soul vacation” with no intentions of returning anytime soon.
Wish me luck!
